Character is everything.. | Be a Twinkie
I am originally from a town called Salem, VA, and being from the south, everyone knows “deep-fried” is better. We deep fry everything: tomatoes, Oreos, bananas, socks…ok maybe not socks but you get the picture. Something that I grew up loving was “Twinkies”. Twinkies are a breaded, deep-fried Hostess delicacy with a decadent white cream in the center; my mouth is watering as I’m writing this. Everyone knows that the best part of the twinkie is not what’s on the outside but the cream on the inside!
When I was little we were visiting some family. My mom and dad were probably talking with the adults but my older brother and I were off doing, well whatever kids do. If you know me you know that I love food, even as a toddler I loved to eat. Well, my dad was wanting something sweet and had remembered there was a box of twinkies in the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen he was horrified… the twinkie box was torn open, plastic wrappers everywhere on the kitchen floor, and twinkies that were not fully eaten laid on the table! Not fully eaten? After examining the twinkies and seeing me sitting there amongst the mess, my dad had discovered that I had used my pinky to dig out the creamy center and left the deep-fried battered bread to stale. You can imagine how disappointed he was.
Now of course it’s a funny story to look back on but I am showing you something. Everyone wants the creamy center, it’s the best part! We’ve always heard “It’s not what’s on the outside but what’s on the inside that matters”. This statement has been used over and over throughout the years, but it’s so true. Character is what’s on the inside, and character is everything!
Have you ever met someone and they seemed so amazing at first but as time went on it was like an onion, layer by layer you started to realize the ugly truth about them? Maybe there is someone you idolized: actor/actress, singer, pastor, etc and then come to find out they had some “skeleton’s in the closet”. Here’s a big one! You’re talking to this girl or guy that you are attracted to and everything they’re doing or saying sounds right but after talking to them you find out they’re not so perfect! In any case, after finding these things out it changes your perception of that person, doesn’t it? It's disappointing. What they say or pretend to be doesn’t line up with who they are inside. Now, to be clear, no one is perfect, everyone still struggles from time to time. You should never expect/demand perfection from someone. But always extend grace, mercy, patience, and love to those who stumble.
”But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7, NIV God cares about our hearts more than anything else. Why? Because He understands that if our hearts aren’t right then nothing is right. Sure what you’re doing may look good for a season, but you’re rotting from the core, and eventually what’s in you will come out. My dad always said, ”Talent will get you the big opportunities but it’s your character that will keep you there.” If you look good on the outside but are empty on the inside, you’re a “white-washed tomb” (Matt. 23:27-28).
There are so many ministers and people of notoriety that have “fallen” not because they weren’t talented enough but because their character wasn’t there.
How Can I become a Man or Woman of Good Godly Character?
GUARD YOUR HEART
”Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23, NIV
Guard your heart against what you are feeding yourself: habits, movies, music, books, social media, etc.
Guard your heart against bad friendships, influencers, and romantic relationships (for my single friends).
Guard your heart against negative thoughts! This is a big one.
Guard your heart against things you meditate on and decree. Two separate things but are very important.FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
”Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16
This is the secret right here. Having someone in your life who will keep you accountable. Someone who will encourage, correct, pray, guide, and lead you in the right direction. An accountability partner is someone you can trust, who is more mature in their walk, and preferably someone of the same gender. The key to success here is to be 100% vulnerable and transparent with your mentor/accountability partner. “Your level of confession is your level of breakthrough.” - Unknown **Finding someone of the same gender to keep you accountable is a personal conviction and is how I was taught and I believe it is very important. There is safety in this but also there are things that guys/girls struggle with that really can only be addressed by someone of the same gender.BE INTENTIONAL
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17, ESV Be intentional with everything you say, do, and think.
Don’t commit to anything you can’t fulfill.
Don’t say anything you will regret.
Don’t think on anything that you will regret.YOU ARE WHAT YOU REPEAT
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Will Durant. You are made up of your everyday habits. Think about everything you do, say, and think (see point 3). What habits are you letting lead your life?
“How do I get my heart right?” Easy. Ask God to search your heart and then shut the door to any area that shouldn’t be open. If you are flirting with it, you’re still giving it a voice in your life. Flirting (with negative thoughts, relationships, habits, etc) is something that can seem innocent, but what you are doing is leaving a door open in your life to that thing and by doing so you are allowing it to influence you.
Being a person of good character is not complicated but it is hard. It means saying no to things and making decisions in the short term that well, suck but will benefit you in the long run.
RESOURCES
Books are a great resource. Here are some great books that have helped me and still help me in my everyday walk. Also, read on the life of King David, he made many mistakes in his life but always ran back to God and check out the story of Joseph.
Bait of Satan by John Bevere
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Winning the Ward in Your Mind Craig Groeschel